The eight-step guide to securing an Israeli election
1. Say there is no negotiating partner on the Palestinian side, even if the president was Gandhi.
2. Repeat "terrorist attacks" and "security" several times in each sentence of a public speech
3. Unpredictably close down Palestinian commercial crossings (while making sure to mention "security" and "terrorist attack")
4. Place hungry Palestinians on a forced "diet" and laugh about it
5. Escalate and provoke: Assassinate Palestinians, making sure to refer to child causalities as unfortunate bystanders, fire an incessant barrage of artillery shells capriciously in a self-declared buffer zone, and detain other Palestinians belonging to a group that has stuck to a ceasefire for over 12 months.
5. Declare illegal settlements in the heart of the West Bank as important to you as Tel Aviv, and an eternal part of Israel.
6. Discretely begin building police headquarters and "other facilities" extending from future Palestinian capital to the largest Israeli colony in the West Bank, Ma’ale Adumim (and cite "natural growth" if pressed by western powers, though this is unlikely to happen).
7. Get pro-democracy Americans to destabilise the democratic result of your next door neighbours's elections.
8. And for the grand finale, stage an Apocalypse-Now type raid on a Palestinian prison to defend the honor of a slain Israeli war criminal..er..minister, complete with helicopters, tanks, and armored bulldozers, and finish off with Israeli general's and paper's crowing "We got 'em!"
Addendum (courtesy Rattu):
9. Murmur, every once in a while, your willingness to make "painful concessions" for peace.... if only you had a partner... which is (emphasise this point with raising your voice, and look upwards to heaven) unfortunately not the case;
10. Make a distinction between yourself, a peace-loving, yet strong and courageous man, and the "lunatic settlers" (though do not spell it out this way, and keep supporting them in almost anyway possible).