Monday, March 06, 2006

Taking it all in

Palestinians sit and reflect near the bodies of 14-year-old Ahmed Al-swasi (R), 8-year-old Raed Ahmad al-Batsh (C) and his 15-year-old brother Mahmoud Ahmed al-Batsh (L), who were victims of an Israeli airstrike on Monday. Three Palestinian children and two members of the Islamic Jihad movement were killed and another eight bystanders, most of them children, were also wounded. Shaul Mofaz defended the strikes and said no one in the newly democratically elected Palestinian parliament was immune. Courtesy Ismael Mohamad (UPI)

I’m tired. And mad, at how unproductive being tired can make me, among other things. But mainly, I’m just tired. Sometimes, it can get exhausting being here.

It’s not so much one single event, but rather the sum total of a series of every day seemingly insignificant incidents that make up the occupation in all its ugliness and brutality and take their insidious toll on you, that creep up on you while you may think yourself not susceptible somehow, sometimes. A border closure here. A milk or diaper shortage there. A travel ban. An aerial assault. Anger and depression and despondence. All of this, combined with the daily realization that your life is not yours to live. The air is not yours to breathe. It’s suffocating and psychologically tasking.

And working in the news, covering the news that’s all around you, makes it even harder. It can be all too easy to lose perspective. It also makes you realize how easy it is to become the news yourself.

I slept most of the afternoon. And was dizzy most of the morning. And when I woke up I learned that the explosion I heard was an attack by an unmanned Israeli drone in the teeming, poverty-stricken Shijaeeya neighborhood not far from my house. It killed the intended “targets”- two members of Islamic Jihad. But it also killed three others.

Including two children-brothers, 8-year-old Raed Al-Batch and his 15-year-old brother Ala. They were with their mother at the time. She lived, only to learn that she lost two boys. At once.

I’m just so tired.

A relative crying in disbelief in the hospital morgue(AP)


Blogger Muhammad said...

I can somehow empathise, but not enough. It reminds me so much of the apartheid here in SA.

"your life is not yours to live"...

a little too much.

May Allah(SWT) make it easy f ryou and your family to endure this, and to finally overcome this.



8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I keep praying & hoping it will get better, someday!! insha-allah.

I enjoy your blogs, found you thru palestinian princess blog. keep it up. Its good to hear the reality of whats going on in Palestine!!

Allah ma3ek

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think you should see about screening the comments, its one thing to have constructive debate but another to have asses like the above!!! I am not a muslim but I find the above comment disgusting!!

8:46 PM  
Blogger Laila said...

Alredy taken care of-thanks!

10:04 PM  
Blogger jarvenpa said...

I am so sorry. Yes, it seems sometimes each day has harsh and unacceptable news--and I am far away from where you are hearing the explosions and the cries. But know that some hear these things in their hearts, and grieve with you.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

I dont really know what any of us could say to make u feel better sister except that the Palestinian people are always in our hearts and prayers.

12:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What would you have the Israelis do, when the murderers of Islamic Jihad freely walk your streets? Streets now controlled by the murderers of Hamas?

No Israeli targeted 8-year-old Rael Al-Batch. But Hamas and Islamic Jihad rejoice every time they kill an 8-year-old Israeli.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you know if according to Muslim law those citizens killed in combat like th Al-Batch brothers are considered 'shihad'?

Also, how is it that none of the major news chanels covered this terrible misdeed?

I enjoy your blog. Keep giving us your prespective.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laila, do you know what the word "perfidy" means? Hiding in an ice cream truck is perfidy. Sniping from a minaret is perfidy. Using a sacred place (mosque, school, hospital), vehicle (ambulance, ice cream truck) or person (child, woman) as cover while acting as a combatant is perfidy. Perfidy is a war crime. It is punishable by death. People who use perfidy as a modus operandi are lowlives, not "martyrs." Such people get nothing but the deepest contempt from most Americans.

Such people are your warriors. You might want to do something about that.

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't really see that Americans are in a position to lecture anyone on perfidy.

Starting wars against people on the basis of lies.

Torturing detainees

Holding people without trial

Using chemical weapons in populated areas

That's only the recent history.....

My own family friends in South America have experienced the morality of the American government. Their contempt for the democratic choices of citizens of other countries when it clashes with American "interests", their support for military dictatorships, the training given to torturers and to death squads.

Deepest contempt... yes, I'd say that that expresses the feelings of many people towards America.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for having the courage and the strength to write your truth.

4:04 AM  
Blogger madziani said...

All muslims around the world pray for them.All people around the world care for them.

Have faith in Allah,Laila.

Be strong.

Salam from Indonesia

2:30 PM  

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